Sunday, December 30, 2012

SHE'S NOT QUEEN OF THE WORLD, OR RATHER SHE'S NOT YOUR QUEEN OF THE WORLD, SHE SIMPLY WANTS YOU TO GET OUT OF HER FACE

And this is the real story about what went on.  And it goes something like this.  Poor Kate Winslet was trying to enjoy an ocean cruise from London, England to New York City, New York.  And evil Jack Dawson from Creektown, Minnesota (Also goes by the name Leonardo DiCaprio) kept sexually harassing her.  Kate Winslet kept telling Jack Dawson that she's already engaged to Billy Zane and anything romantic simply won't happen.  But evil Jack Dawson kept feeling her up without permission and sexually harassing her without permission.  Well a miracle happened.  Well, it wasn't really a miracle for the White Star Line which went bankrupt because of the shipwreck of the RMS Titanic.  And it wasn't a miracle for any of the people who died on the Titanic.  But evil Jack Dawson drowned to death on the night the Titanic sunk.  So Kate Winslet never needed to file a sexual harassment lawsuit or a restraining order against Jack Dawson from Creektown, Minnesota (Also named Leonado DeCaprio).  So Kate Winslet got to marry Billy Zane as required by the arranged marriage contract.  And she got the romance that she really wanted all along before that creep Jack Dawson came around and foolishly tried to ruin it.  So it was a happy ending all along.  And as for all the jewels that Jack Dawson sexually harassed her into taking?  Well, she tossed that garbage overboard into the ocean in the end.

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