Friday, February 22, 2013

THE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS STILL JUST A BUSINESS

So what happens if the Beatles breaks up after only fourteen albums and you, the owner of Capitol Records, feels that there are more money to be made from the Beatles music career.  Well, as the owner of Capitol Records, you can solve the problem several ways.
1.  All four of the Beatles records unlimited solo albums.  Who cares if listening to Paul McCartney's album Ram isn't the same as listening to the Beatles album Revolver.  It's a member of the Beatles for crying out loud---The coolest rock band ever.  You have to own Ram even if that Paul McCartney solo album is a pale shadow of the Beatles album Revolver.  And don't forget to purchase George Harrison's three disk, six sided album All Things Must Pass.  And John Lennon's album Imagine.  And Ringo Starr, well he couldn't make a decent solo album if his life depended on it, but you must purchase them all anyway.  And go to all their solo rock concert tours.  And purchase all the tee shirts, tour programs and other really neat Beatles related merchandise.
2.  All four of the Beatles eventually got married and produced children.  So now you must get the women in your life to purchase Stella McCartney's clothing.  Purchase Jullian Lennon's solo albums.  Are there any more children of the Beatles who recorded albums that's actually worth listening or designed clothes actually worth wearing?  Get Sean Lennon to record a few albums and call it Beatles-like music regardless of the content.  Will it be worth purchasing?  Who cares.  Just buy them all.  Credit cards, checks or cash is very much appreciated.
3.  Whoah, hold on a second, let's not forget Beatles impersonators.  Buy all the Monkeys albums, television show episodes and their film Head.  Oasis is a must.  Electric Light Orchestra too.  Don't forget the Bee Gees.  No Beatles impersonators collection isn't complete without the Bee Gees.  And Andy Gibb too.  Andy Gibb almost became a Bee Gee since he's in the family.  Buy all his albums too.  Who cares if he was a drunk, possibly stoned and died in a airplane wreck.  He's still just as crucial.
4.  How many Greatest Hits albums can Capitol Records sell to the general public before they realize they have nine different versions of the same collection of songs.
Oh yes, there are always ways to sell the Beatles long after they have broken up.  Capitol Records only needs to be creative in finding new ways making more and more money from a mere fourteen albums.
And as I'm lost in thought about the recording industry, here are some photos of the following celebrities.
Alicia Witt










Mandy Moore








Taylor Swift

















 
Drew Barrymore










Lake Bell


Zooey Deschanel (She & Him and the television series the New Girl)
Grace Slick (Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Starship)
Hayley Williams (Paramore)
Alissa White Gluz (The Agonist)
Ashley Ellyllon (Cradle of Filth)
Bethany Cosentino (Best Coast)
Emma Anzai (Sick Puppies)
Rebecca Manthe (The Tossers)
Ryann Donnelly (Schoolyard Heroes)

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