Tuesday, December 24, 2013

FUN FACTS ABOUT SANTA CLAUS

Unless the Gentle Reader has been living in a cave for the past few decades, it's safe to assume that the Gentle Reader knows who Santa Claus is.  He dresses in a red and white fur coat and red and white fur pants, black boots, is weight impaired and is very happy.  Santa Claus tends to be a benevolent human being.  Santa Claus is associated with children and tends to be viewed as being safe for children, but that wasn't always the case.  In some Ancient and Medieval European societies, Santa Claus was considered to be a hot sexually seductive female.
There are three versions of the story.  All Christians know about the birth of Jesus Christ.  Three Wise Men followed a star to a barn to see Jesus Christ born.  Yet, those three Wise Men who witnessed the birth and left behind gifts couldn't be bothered to save that same Jesus they worshipped from being crucified for our sins.  Anyway, in some versions (Mostly in Italy) of the story, the Three Wise Men got lost and stopped by a random Middle Eastern house looking for road instructions to the barn that Jesus Christ was born.  The Befana was a normal Conservative unmarried housewife mother of one child (The gender of the child was never known).  The outcome of the conversation came in three forms.
1.  The Three Wise Men knocked on the door after her child died and asked the Befana about the location of the barn that Jesus Christ will be born.  Befana told the Three Wise Men to buzz off and leave her alone.  The Three Wise Men left and found the barn anyway.  Befana had a change of hard and every Christmas flies on her broom stick to each and every house with children to leave presents under the tree and in the stockings in yet another failed attempt to find Jesus Christ 2013 years after he was crucified (Hey, better late then never).
2.  The Three Wise Men knocked on her door days after her child died and asked Befana where to find the barn where Jesus was born.  The Befana told them where to find the barn where Jesus was born, but refused to witness the birth of Jesus Christ.  Befana had a change of hard and every Christmas flies on her broom stick to each and every house with children to leave presents under the tree and in the stockings in yet another failed attempt to find Jesus Christ 2013 years after he was crucified (Hey, better late then never).
3.  The Three Wise Men knocked on her door days after her child died and she told them where to find the barn where Jesus was born.  The Befana told the Three Wise Men where to find the barn that Jesus was born and witnessed the birth of Jesus Christ.  The Three Wise Men and the Befana failed to save Jesus Christ from being crucified for our sins.  Every Christmas the Befana flies on her broom stick to each and every house with children to leave presents under the tree and in the stockings.









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