Dakota Johnson: You should climb into the wild bear cage right over there.
Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad: Are you crazy? The Wild Bear will eat me if I do that.
Dakota Johnson: That Asian Born Person over there will mock you and insist that he won the game of one upmanship if you don't climb into the Wild Bear cage.
Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad: That does it. I never want to lose a game of one upmanship to that person. I'll never regain my dignity if I do that.
Dakota Johnson: Then climb into the Wild Bear Cage to prove your manhood.
Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad: Ok, I shall do as you request to regain my manhood.
And so the Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad climbed into the Wild Bear Cage. The Wild Bear ate the Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad for dinner. I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, except the Wild Bear is no longer hungry since he ate the Dumber Than the Dumbest Lad for dinner.
And as I'm lost in thought while it's eighty-five degrees outside, here are some photos of Dakota Johnson.